Monday, November 7, 2011

Tubing

English teachers are often fond of saying "show don't tell" and "take me there" when they speak to their students about the power of description and imagery in creative writing.  Notice how Emily L., though she is only a seventh grade, does an excellent job taking us along on her adventure.

Tubing

Invigorated by the cotton-white ocean spray and the ice-cold wind at 10 a.m.
attempting to hang on to the sky-blue grips for my life
flying through the air near the speed of light
bouncing around the sharp turns
no tube under me
SPLASH!
Gasping for air,
soaked in the jellyfish water,
traffic-cone orange life vest pulls me up
back on the tube, laughing and screaming again,
flying and flopping around like the bubble gum-pink salmon out of water.

7 comments:

  1. Emily definitely paints a colorful, action-filled picture for me as I read. There is no denying the motion she shows through words.

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  2. There are a lot of color descrition in this poem.

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  3. This is defintley a good poem but i would apperciate some edgar allen poe works on this page.

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  4. Huh huh... beautiful.. huh huh.

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  5. Interesting enjoy tubing to!!

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  6. Vivid color imagery! I could feel the plunge. :)

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